Jul 10
28
Get on My Horse
It tastes just like raisins!
This little toon has been out for a while, but I still find it enjoyable. I have actually been a fan of Weebl’s Stuff for some time now, and feel completely stupid for not showing off one of his toons sooner. I give you, “Amazing Horse”
Jul 10
26
Rotten Apple Commercial
Facetime is Creepytime!
I know that the Iphone is supposed to be the ultimate in cellphone technology, and if you don’t have one then you’re just not as cool as the rest of the hipsters who wear flannel shirts with tight jeans, converse shoes, and thick rim black glasses. I mean, whats cooler than poor antenna design, shitty AT&T network coverage, and pretentious douche bags?
The new Iphone 4 has some pretty neat features on it, though, and the new line of commercials from Apple just loves to show off one of the neatest: Facetime – video chat on your phone.
And one of these commercials is just plain painful to watch, and that’s the “Big News” ad. The gist is that some woman wants to tell her man that she’s been knocked up. It takes only 30 seconds to run the commercial, but it feels like it takes an hour. “You know that thing we’ve been working on?” she asks – as if to say something like “You know how we’ve been getting busy, like all the time lately?” wouldn’t be classy. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be, but I am sure it wouldn’t be as damned awkward as this commercial feels. I was surprised she didn’t look meekly into her mighty Iphone and whisper: “you know, it?”
Anyway, I don’t like this commercial, and it is yet another careless intrusion into my precious TV time.
Jul 10
15
Lebron, inc.
What Lebron James may look like
By this point in time, pretty much everyone in the world has weighed in with their thoughts and opinions of the Lebron James deal. I figured that I must be at least as qualified as half the blogosphere to weigh in with my own opinion – and just to make a bigger impact, I would make mine well after the fact. I’m hood like that.
Also, I happen to not be a fan of basketball. If I watch a game its typically a college hoops game and, with the exception of this year’s NBA championship, never an NBA game.
That being said, I recognize that on the professional level, athletes have to make decisions that keep in mind their career lengths are short, and can be easily shortened with just the slightest amount of improper balance on the wrong the knee at the wrong time. I won’t get into my views and philosophies regarding the amount professional athletes are paid, but I certainly would want to maximize the profitability of my talents and skills while I had them. (If I had any)
When it comes down to it, the professional athlete’s physicality is a business. His body, the corporate headquarters. The goals, blocks, saves, home runs, dives, etc. the product. And as such, a wise professional athlete treats himself as a business. Mix this up with a true passion for the sport you play, and an honest, constant and gnawing desire to do more than just continue to pad an already bursting wallet, but actually accomplish that defining moment in any sport…be the best, and have the jewelry to prove it.
Ultimately James seemed to go for the best team. The one most likely to present a serious force to be reckoned with for years to come. Him plus Olympic team mates Wade and Bosh make a formidable force for sure, and perhaps most likely to earn the man a championship ring or two. I, like most bloggers I would presume, am no athlete. If they make something like eating potato chips or bowel movements a pro sport I can say with absolute certainty that I would be the Michael Jordan of those events. Or maybe Bo Jackson…. “Mike knows pooping.” But I can say that I, personally, would have went for the money.
James wants the championship. So much so that he was able to turn down thirty million dollars, pack up and leave his home where all his family and friends live; and move to Florida of all places where his championship chances would be much enhanced. Here’s the best part; the firestorm that has resulted has been hilarious. From the furious letter from Lebron’s
"Dude, wtf!"
former boss, Dan Gilber (Majority Owner of Cleveland Cavaliers):
Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;
As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.
This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.
The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.
You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE”
You can take it to the bank.
If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.
This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.
The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Just watch.
Sleep well, Cleveland.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….
Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers
To the response that letter has gained from Reverend Jesse Jackson, who responds in a way that is just as much, if not more, of an overreaction:
"How much damage does 'Race Card' deal?"
“He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, his feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave. This is an owner employee relationship — between business partners — and LeBron honored his contract.”
In the end, Lebron’s got to do what he feels is best for him. The accomplishment of winning a NBA championship is the one thing that has thus far eluded him. Together with Wade and Bosh – I might just have to start watching NBA basketball again.
This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his “decision” unlike anything ever “witnessed” in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.
The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.
There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.
You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:
“I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE”
You can take it to the bank.
If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our “motivation” to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.
Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.
Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.
This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown “chosen one” sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And “who” we would want them to grow-up to become.
But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called “curse” on Cleveland, Ohio.
The self-declared former “King” will be taking the “curse” with him down south. And until he does “right” by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.
Just watch.
Sleep well, Cleveland.
Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day….
I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:
DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue….
Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers
"I shit dust!"
That Dockers commercial I posted about a while back was a pretty awful trespass into my glorious, sacred, and all important TV time. But nothing yet unleashed on the TV watching morons of the world (line starts here) quite compares to the awful JG Wentworth Opera commercials.
It started out innocently enough, a short commercial spot with people shouting the revelation that they are, in fact, entitled to claim their money when they want it. A phone number is given and – boom – commercial over, and I’m now 60 seconds closer to getting back to M*A*S*H.
That was until someone at JG Wentworth must have realized how easy it was to ignore the old commercials and wanted to bring the pain with something more obnoxious…..much more obnoxious.
The opera commercials come in two flavors, one in an actual opera house with a cast of all the necessary opera singer charaters (fat people, horned helmets,etc) ending with rousing applause after the performance. Being subjected to this crap, it felt as if the commercial was about an hour long, but it would seem it is still only 1 minute long. The other version is on a bus with a bunch of idiots singing the opera, etc, etc, the same thing just a different cast and setting.
Now, I understand there are the easily impressed out there who would look at such a commercial and love it, while – hopefully – there are more people who would look at this and have the same response as me. The sudden, nearly uncontrollable, desire to jam a dull rusty knife into my forehead repeatedly until my brains ooze out of my ears.
Could I change the channel? Or mute the TV? I do, but it doesn’t change the fact that these commercials simply piss me off. And if I ever meet Mr. Wentworth….well I may just beat him to within an inch of his life. Sure these bad commercials are getting exposure here, but the point isn’t who or what these companies sell or do, the point is they produce garbage advertisement, and so it is safe to assume that their product is also garbage. At least, I assume that to be the case, and everyone else should too – maybe this would encourage companies to avoid highly stupid, annoying, violence inducing commercials and trespass into our TV time with more care.
Now, to subject you to this garbage because if you’re reading this, then clearly you have a tolerance for crap and will survive watching this garbage. I, on the other hand, will be in the corner chewing my arm off like I’m hearing Vogon poetry.
<em>Lone Survivor: The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and The Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10</em> by Marcus Luttrell with Patrick Robinson is a gripping story about the US Navy SEALs most costly mission, ever.
The book takes us through the fateful mission of Operation Redwing from the perspective of Marcus Luttrell, one of the four SEALs to go into the Hindu Kush mountains of Northeastern Afghanistan for what would become a tragic, terrifying and, brutal mission to combat the Taliban and al Quaeda forces therein. Luttrell takes to the very beginning of his career as a SEAL where he began preparing himself for the rigorous physical and mental conditioning required to do the job, as a child! We follow him all the way up to his actual BUD/S training, and of course into the jaws of hell that Operation Redwing turned out to be. At times, Mr. Luttrell may come across arrogant or even savage to us; mere squishy civilians whose lives are made comfortable and secure by the iron will and blood sacrifice of men and women in the Armed Services of the United States. However, I would argue that such an attitude is a product of training (so does Luttrell at times throughout his narrative) and is also well earned and based in fact.
The narrative of the story winds us around several moments, as stated above, we go to the beginning of Luttrell’s military career in the US Navy; follow him through Basic Training to BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEALs training to us civies!) and into the treacherous ranges of the Hindu Kush as he and the other members of the ill fated 4 man SEAL team embark on a mission against overwhelming odds. The sacrifice Luttrell relates to us of his colleagues, heroes one and all, is heartbreaking and may even be somewhat difficult to comprehend in the minds of those who have never been in a position to offer such sacrifice. Yet, Luttrell explains the motives away almost casually as just “part of the job all the while remaining in awe of the feats of heroism and courage he witnesses. Another aspect of the narrative is the method of delivery; it reads as if Luttrell were relating the whole affair to you in person, face to face. Offering insights to his feelings and thoughts, and even the occasional jibe that helps to relent the ever increasing mass of the story being told.
Some have called this an action packed and exciting story, and while it certainly offers those elements, I would label it a heart wrenching account of true heroism – sprinkled with political conjecture, and full of sadness. And while there is plenty of tragedy in the story, there are also glimmers of hope for humanity offered in between the blood-soaked pages of this account. Detailing, first hand, with the actual honor and decency of the Afghan citizen. Something we who rely all to heavily on the TV News networks for all our information are constantly deprived of.
If “war stories” are not your cup of tea, I would still recommend this book. Simply to get a different perspective of our military operations overseas, maybe you’ll pick up a few new opinions once you read the views of this particular warfighter. Sure, Luttrell may be slightly biased in the presentation of his team’s story; but no more so than, say, CNN.
Jul 10
11
Crazy Knife Review
Occasionally, you come across a real gem. As I go out and look at random crap here and there, I sometimes find something like this comment at Military/LE/Survival/Camping/etc. store USCalvary.com
“Bought it many months ago, I carry it daily and use it at work (warehouse). After the factory edge wore off I had trouble getting the sharpening angle just right. In time, I found it. Now, the knife is insanely sharp. How sharp? Well, I had an accident last week. I wasn’t using my knife well and it pulled out of the shrink-wrap I was cutting and buried itself into my lower leg. Yeah, stupid, I know. The thing is, I had no idea what this or any knife would do to flesh. Now I do and let me tell you, you don’t want to be on the receiving end. It slid into my leg like a hot knife into butter. Strangely enough, I like this knife even more. I now know what it’s capable of. My knife came with the nylon sheath which is garbage. If you can find leather or Kydex, go with that. The Zytel handle is was too blocky for my hand so custom fit it to my hand with a Dremel tool.”
superior to standard box cutters when you work in a warehouse that ships dangerous and crazy shit like cyborg-zombie ligers
…wow, just look at that manly knife. I don’t know, when I’ve worked in warehouse type jobs I’ve found that using a simple box cutter is much safer and far more practical than using a knife engineered for killing. But to each his own I guess, at least Anthony wasn’t put off by the incident where he apparently STABBED HIMSELF IN THE LEG…. For real men, like Anthony, that only further strengthens the bond between man and tool. Rock on Anthony, you manly son of a bitch.
Jul 10
11
Full Body Panic!
mmm, sexy
That is a pretty hot picture isn’t it? Does it get you all fired up and in the mood for some lovin? I certainly hope not, I tend to list looking like a bloated feminine form of Skeletor in the “turn-off” or “kill it with fire!” category.
And yet, so many people are still very much opposed to the whole idea of the full body scanner. Fearing, mostly, an intense and gross invasion of their privacy. Standing in front of the scanner and the TSA Agent, presumably on the other side of the airport/state/country/whatever, can tell that you absolutely have boobs. Not that everyone couldn’t figure that out from that shirt you’re wearing.
None the less, there are the men who are strongly opposed to the Full Body Scan as well, worried about people seeing their junk. You tell me, how much can you tell in these pictures?
do you know who this is?
Can you look at this image and then recognize the person in the real world if you were able to see them? Sure, the scanner sees through your clothes, but its still like wearing a mask….you still have some level of anonymity. More than, say, being strip searched at the airport because of a suspicious bulge in your pants.
And, as important as your dignity is, isn’t it more important that no one blows your plane up? I know, thats one of those fear-mongering statements, obviously designed to incite panic among the people and coerce them through fear to follow the same line of thought as me. None the less, its true isn’t it?
I’m no model, nor am I equipped with a cruise missile…but if walking through one of those things with everyone else on the plane I’m about to board means no one sneaking in explosive underwear/sneakers/wigs/etc. then I’m all for it. Hell, I’ll even go first.
There is also the consideration of how much we have to sacrifice in the name of security. How far is reasonable? Well, in my opinion something like the Full Body Scan isn’t unreasonable. The bad guys have to start performing surgery on themselves in order to get past this baby….which means that we will more than likely start a full body xray of some sort that is able to see all things not part of the natural anatomy. And of course, at that point all the people with certain augmentations will be up in arms over their privacy being invaded.
Also, consider this; the folks who have the job of sitting in their little windowless rooms, who have to look at thousands of these things, day in and day out, probably aren’t going to get the rise out of these that people seem to expect. Well, not after a while of doing the job at least. You have to scan over the images pretty quick too when in the setting of funneling large numbers of people through to their flights in a speedy manner. Which means that you’d spend more time noticing a gun or set of explosives, and less time admiring Skeletor’s assets.
Jul 10
11
Robot Pirates = Awesome
Check out the link, and enjoy flash video submission from Lawlolawl studios and songstowearpantsto called Robot Pirates and revel in the awesomeness.
I am often in awe of such talent, especially since I have none of my own to show off. Oh well, enjoy!
Jun 10
21
Soccer (Football!) Bandwagon
I’m on the bandwagon. The soccer bandwagon that is, since the FIFA 2010 World Cup began my interest in the sport of Soccer has grown by leaps and bounds. I find myself watching matches now that don’t even feature the US or England. I suppose I’ve always been at least a little partial to the sport, especially since half my family is English (hence why I want to watch both teams play). But now, I find it more enjoyable to watch than I have before, regardless of who is playing.
The US has become more and more involved in the Cup since our team is still in the fight and there seems to be a real move toward accepting soccer on a wider scale amongst Amercian Sports fans. The real question is whether or not it will last after the Cup has come to an end. And lets be honest here: as much as I would love the US team to win the Cup, its just not going to happen. And after the Cup ends on that note, how long will the bandwagon stay around?
Jun 10
21
Most Bad-Ass 4th of July Commercial?
Ever since Dodge became a bail out company, I’ve felt that anyone who has paid taxes into their bail out ought to receive a voucher for around 10K towards a Dodge purchase. Hey, its only fair, I (like most Americans) paid for the Dodge CEO’s and board members to keep their private jets and most of their vacation homes around the world – so we should only be entitled to it right?
One use that Dodge has put your money towards is a new advertisement, a television commercial that could be just about the most bad ass car commercial we’ve seen since Ford’s Bullitt GT commercial
This time, instead of Steve McQueen, George Washington brings the pain to some Red Coats by way of his Dodge Challenger. The only thing that would make this commercial better would be some Death Race-esque modifications to the Challenger like a giant set of spinning blades or huge lances with which to brutally slaughter those darned Brits. Revise that into the commercial and I’ll go out and buy a Challenger tomorrow. Until next time, enjoy my favorite commercial of the moment with me.